apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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