Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
