watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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