Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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