a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
