hotel room ftw
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
