well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
