Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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