Only a mothe r could love this liver
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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