The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
