youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
