I think I died a long time ago.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
