what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
