It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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