u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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