It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
