those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
