3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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