Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
