i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
