omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
