When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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