So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
