you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
