doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
