nut hugger
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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