who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
