I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
