And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
