i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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