he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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