just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
