It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
