Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
