Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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