i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
