Have you finally orgasmed yet?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
