Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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