i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
