We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
