At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
