tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
we should paint friendship bongs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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