Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i need some magic done to my vagina
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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