so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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