Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
