Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
