Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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