The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
thus making me awesome and them whores
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
