so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
