i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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