anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize