Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
