just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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