3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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