i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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