i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
as a side note pls kill me
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