I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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